Next Life

I’ve taken quite a break from writing blog posts because I’ve been on a quest. The main reason I started this blog was to be open about my process of recovery from being one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I wanted other survivors to know they weren't alone. We go through many of the same phases or recovery because the source of our trauma is the same. But, I decided to take a step back and try to do some hard work on myself. I recently uncovered some painful memories and wasn’t sure I could handle it. So, I went on a quest within. It was time for me to really work on what I believed about life, the universe, and everything. I was able to work through my trauma using a belief system I had constructed myself. I found a way to frame the past so that it wouldn’t hurt me, enjoy the day given to me, and look to the future with hope. It has been a truly empowering experience. This seems to be part of our journey as humans, not just former members of a high control group. We all must find a “tr

There have been a lot of articles and books written over the years about “highly sensitive people” and “empaths”. Usually, these sources contain lists of common traits that identify someone as “highly sensitive”. Instead of recreating these lists, I’ll just mention a few identifiers: You feel other people’s pain as if it were your own, even if you don’t know them very well You can read the mood of a room quickly and accurately You can be overwhelmed by emotional situations, even if you aren’t directly involved People open up to you quickly because you are an active listener You are often asked for advice Tragic news and catastrophic events have a deep emotional impact on you You love deeply and without limits You can be easily hurt by those you love, even if it is an accident You can calm and soothe people under stress You feel compelled to help others You need time to be alone and recharge You can be deeply moved by artistic expressions and na

“We feel it would be the loving thing to disfellowship you.” I believe those were the words that changed my life.  To clarify, I am not currently disfellowshipped or disassociated from the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Mainly, because I don’t want to play by their rules. I have chosen to separate myself from their religion. That decision has closed many doors and opened even more. But, this statement, made to me by a judicial committee supposedly formed to help me with my addiction to pain killers, made me realize how hollow their offers of help really were. As a former elder, I knew the focus of every judicial meeting was to “keep the congregation clean”, not to help the person that had asked for assistance. Still, I expected more. When I was told that the “loving thing” would be to isolate me during my time of greatest need, I knew something was wrong. I spent several years in perpetual humiliation as I attended meetings, ignored by everyone I knew. Friends