For Highly Sensitive and Empathic ExJWs


There have been a lot of articles and books written over the years about “highly sensitive people” and “empaths”. Usually, these sources contain lists of common traits that identify someone as “highly sensitive”. Instead of recreating these lists, I’ll just mention a few identifiers:

  • You feel other people’s pain as if it were your own, even if you don’t know them very well
  • You can read the mood of a room quickly and accurately
  • You can be overwhelmed by emotional situations, even if you aren’t directly involved
  • People open up to you quickly because you are an active listener
  • You are often asked for advice
  • Tragic news and catastrophic events have a deep emotional impact on you
  • You love deeply and without limits
  • You can be easily hurt by those you love, even if it is an accident
  • You can calm and soothe people under stress
  • You feel compelled to help others
  • You need time to be alone and recharge
  • You can be deeply moved by artistic expressions and nature

Every list is a bit different but the main qualities are consistent. These are the signs that stood out to me.

As I read through them, I noticed something interesting. They seem to describe many Jehovah’s Witnesses I have known over the years. I think most of the people I know in the religion have the trademark signs of a “highly sensitive person”.

I’m not sure if the religion creates people like this or if it attracts people with these qualities. But, I feel certain that life inside the organization is hard on empathic people. 

We were taught to feel each other’s pain, read householders in the ministry, listen to others well, be ready to help with Biblical advice, and be a source of comfort to everyone that needs it. These aren’t bad qualities but, living in the real world can be hard when you are constantly feeling the emotions of everyone surrounding you.

With the world being in such turmoil today, it’s easy for those of us with these traits to be overwhelmed. I know I am “highly sensitive” and I have purposely limited the amount of information I take in about the pandemic. The subsequent protests and vitriol on social media have made me limit my time online as well.

Many ExJWs I’ve talked to have taken similar measures. We have to do this just to stay sane in today’s climate.

The lesson I’m learning is that this isn’t an act of weakness. It’s an act of survival. I am proud to be someone that others can turn to when they are in need. I am happy that I can walk into a room and feel the mood. I like that I can love without limits. But, I have to take care of this gift so that I won’t become overwhelmed and shut down.


If you feel like the pressure is starting to get to you, take a break. Find where the world is intruding on your emotional equilibrium and set a limit. You don’t have to change who you are. Just know where the boundaries need to be and enjoy the spaces in between. 

Comments

  1. RobinK1012May 26, 2020 at 4:53 PM

    I'm an ex JW, joined at age 18. But as I grew up my mother OFTEN said to me "You're too sensitive." She always said it as though it was a bad thing and for years I thought it was.
    Now I'm near 70 and I've learned that being too sensitive is a gift. My mother was "tough" because her mother suffered with cancer for many years and she died when my mom was just 18. She married my dad right after and he was abusive, so again she had to be the tough one to leave and raise my brother and I on a tiny Woolworth's paycheck.
    So mom was what she had to be to survive and I was what I was to be there for her when she too got cancer and needed to be nursed ( in my home) until she passed.

    Now I'm a "sensitive" grandmom who all the grandkids confide in. It's not so bad now to be too sensitive.

    As to the organization, yes, they do attrack people who are "too sensitive". People who want to help, who want God to love them, who want to please others. But there comes a time when we stand up for ourselves and realize we can't be taken into a pack of lies and be abused, just because we care. There comes a time when we realize that God really does love us, just because we are His children, not because of what we can do for Him. He doesn't need us to do anything for Him and He certainly doesn't want us to allow ourselves to be abused and lied to and conned.

    You can be a loving, sensitive person and still know evil when you see it.

    ReplyDelete

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