The Feeling of "Otherness"


Leaving the Jehovah’s Witness religion isn’t easy. You know that you will lose family and friends immediately after letting everyone know about your decision. This is a hard, often tragic situation.

After being out for a while, you notice that there are plenty of friends and interests that you can finally be involved with. You enjoy your freedom and the fact that you are alive for the first time.

But, amidst these wonderful times, there are dark days. I don’t know how to explain these days adequately. There are days when you feel an “otherness” in your life. You realize what an outsider you are. You don’t fit into the JW world and you don’t quite fit into the regular world around you.

No matter what crowd you are in, you feel painfully alone. As everyone converses glibly about old college days (that you never had), politics (that you don’t understand), funny stories about acting crazy as a teen/young adult (which you never did), the adventures of their children (which you didn’t have), great movies and concerts (which you weren’t allowed to attend), or other subjects that you have never experienced, you feel isolated, even ashamed of your lack of experience. You are an alien everywhere you go. And, it hurts.

I don’t know what the answer to this problem is. I don’t have any great suggestions for coping with this feeling because I get overwhelmed by it frequently. My current theory is that you have to keep pushing your boundaries and experiencing things so that you can join in everyone else's conversation someday.

Just know that if you’ve ever felt this way, you are not alone. It is something that many of us struggle with after leaving a high-control religion. We were handed a pre-packaged world and told it was the “best life ever”. After discovering it to be a fraud, we have to work through the process of finding our own “best life ever”. It’s a lonely process, regardless of how much support and love we have in our life.

If you are experiencing this, please hang on. Find others that have left the religion to talk to. Find qualified counselors and therapists that can assist. You don’t have to be alone through the process. The feeling of “otherness” is normal when you make a huge shift in life, as we have.

Keep on going, one step at a time. You do belong in this world. You will find your place.

Comments

  1. Tom F.January 11, 2020 at 8:14 AM

    Excellent points as always. I always had an interest in politics, but could not vote. Screw that. I am a citizen and will use my freedom others fought for.

    ReplyDelete

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