Next Life

I have been thinking a lot about family and friends that have chosen to disconnect from me. My emotions are pulling at me to reach out and make sure they’re all right. Of course, I know they either wouldn’t talk to me or they would preach to me if I called. Still, I really want to hear that they’re all right. One realization keeps me from checking on them: this is their test of faith. Whether I agree with it or not, to them, their relationship with God is on the line. I'm sure their emotions are telling them to call and check on me too. But, there is ingrained training that tells them I am an evil apostate. This is a test to see who they love more: me or their God. That puts an incredible amount of pressure on them at a time when they feel their life is at stake.  It’s like a Rorschach test. They see this as the end of the world, while many see this as a time to pull together and help. They see God’s judgment coming upon mankind, while the majority see it as a time to r...

Routine is important. We all have a usual routine that has been disrupted. But, whether we realize it or not, we are forming a new routine right now. If we’re like the majority of people, we find ourselves glued to the TV, waiting for the latest grim statistics.  However, this is the time to make a new way of life. We can choose to create something beautiful. We can begin every day by centering our focus on the desire to care for ourselves and everyone around us. We can start by making sure that our daily actions are rooted in love.  It is tempting to listen to the reports of disaster constantly. We probably do it hoping this will be the day to hear good news. We want to be present when we finally receive the release that the virus is under control and that life can return to normal. The truth is, we’re all starved for something positive.  But, we can create the positivity we desire by having a good routine. Even when the world news is bleak, if our person...

Since social distancing started I’ve noticed people have started avoiding eye contact too. Maybe I’m just noticing it in myself but, I think some of us may tend this way. It seems automatic to look down if I can’t shake someone’s hand. We need to protect ourselves and each other right now through physical distancing, not social distancing. If anything, we need our social network to be tighter and more connected than ever before, even with those we don’t know.  Not physically connecting through a handshake or hug can trigger a dangerous emotion: fear . If we’re not careful to maintain social, not physical, contact, we may lose touch with something truly important: love .  Remember, that, although it is normal to fear the virus, we don’t need to fear each other. Make eye contact, say hello, ask how people are doing. We don’t have to stop being civil and polite just because we can’t shake hands.  This is a hard kind of love. This is love that preserves li...

I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety today. The world is bleak with disease, earthquakes and the threat of war. There is a lot of anxiety over whether I’ve made a bad choice about leaving the high-control Jehovah’s Witness organization I belonged to my entire life. I feel fear and regret over my past. But, on a logical level, things are different.  True religion helps you feel stronger during crisis. False religion makes you fearful. Real spirituality expands to include others. Fake spirituality contracts to exclude. Fear is the opposite of love and any idea that promotes a terrifying view of the world cannot be based in love. Philosophies based on either outlook can be judged based on their roots: it is loving and true or it is fearful and false.  There is not going to be a perfect resolution to this crisis. It is unprecedented. But, we will get through this. It won’t be without loss or hardship. It will not be the same for any of us when this is over. But, the measu...

This is the strangest life I’ve ever known. - Jim Morrison I can’t get that quote out of my head. The last few days of watching the world have really been interesting, confusing, and frightening. My hope is that people will start treating each other more humanely as we adjust to our new way of life. We can’t afford to devolve into a society focused only on self. Here is my request for everyone: please take care of yourself and your immediate family. We start conquering this pandemic by listening to the simple guidelines being given by professionals that know how to stop this from spreading. Wash your hands, avoid touching your face, stay out of large groups, and don’t hoard. It’s actually pretty simple to follow. Problems appear when people let our ego make decisions. It’s not just selfish to place our needs above everyone else’s. It’s dangerous. There are many who don’t have the physical or monetary resources to get what they need right now. That makes this the moment ...

Well, here it is. This is the first world crisis for me since leaving the Jehovah’s Witness religion. So, what’s it like to face a doomsday scenario when you used to belong to a doomsday cult? It can be pretty uncomfortable. Because I was trained to look for situations that would lead to the end of the world, my mind has been working overtime looking for how this current crisis could fulfill prophecies I was taught as a child. It’s not like I have a choice in thinking this way, at least not yet. My brain automatically goes down all the paths that current events could take us. It’s almost an unconscious process for me to figure out how this will all lead to Armageddon. That doesn’t mean I believe we’re facing the end of the world. I recognize that this is still the old programming fighting to reassert itself. I can’t just shake off a lifetime of mental grooming in a few years.  But, it is fascinating to look at how my mind is reacting to this crisis. Some days I feel...

I have noticed that I have a difficult time expressing my own opinion. When it comes to explaining what I believe, I shy away from using the phrase “I believe”. I think there are deep reasons for my hesitancy to express myself freely. Part of it is today’s society, part of it is the way I was raised. Things are a bit scary in today’s world. There is a high danger of being shot down and shamed for speaking your truth. Whether your viewpoint is extreme, moderate, or conservative, there always seems to be people ready to point out how foolish your thoughts are. That naturally causes hesitancy because we want to be heard, not ridiculed when we express ourselves. ExJWs have another hurdle to overcome when it comes to free expression. We just aren’t used to exposing who we are to people. We are used to having an organization dictate our beliefs. So, when explaining ourselves to outsiders, we probably used the phrase, “We believe…”. I don’t remember saying “I believe” very often w...

I was eight years old in the summer of 1977 and my world was rocked. I remember standing in the longest line I had ever seen at a Florida movie theater struggling to control my excitement. We were on a family vacation and my father had taken me to see the movie I had anticipated all year -  Star Wars ! It wasn’t "A New Hope" back then. It was just  Star Wars , and it was glorious. It’s all I could think about for months. My friends and I played in that imaginary galaxy for years to come. That place far, far away and all of its spin-offs are still my comfort food. But, that same year there was a movie that tested my faith. In October 1977,  Oh God!  was released. My eight-year-old brain was rattled by the title alone. It was blasphemous! Plus, John Denver was in it. At the time, there were a lot of rumors circulating among Jehovah’s Witnesses that John Denver hated us. I remember one very clearly.  He allegedly made an announcement before one of hi...