The End of the World As We Know It?


Well, here it is. This is the first world crisis for me since leaving the Jehovah’s Witness religion. So, what’s it like to face a doomsday scenario when you used to belong to a doomsday cult? It can be pretty uncomfortable.

Because I was trained to look for situations that would lead to the end of the world, my mind has been working overtime looking for how this current crisis could fulfill prophecies I was taught as a child. It’s not like I have a choice in thinking this way, at least not yet. My brain automatically goes down all the paths that current events could take us. It’s almost an unconscious process for me to figure out how this will all lead to Armageddon.

That doesn’t mean I believe we’re facing the end of the world. I recognize that this is still the old programming fighting to reassert itself. I can’t just shake off a lifetime of mental grooming in a few years. 

But, it is fascinating to look at how my mind is reacting to this crisis. Some days I feel confident that humans will find a way to band together and knock this virus out. But, then the old teachings pop up about how mankind will unite, think they’ve achieved peace and security, and lead the world into the scenario of Armageddon. And, that’s when I tend to have a tiny little freak-out.

To be honest, there have been times over the last three years when I have silently questioned my decision to leave the organization. When things get hard or events trigger fears of the end of the world, I have wondered if I made the right choice.

But, then I compare the last three years of my life with my time as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and I know I’ve made the right choice. I now experience unconditional love and support, I can finally just be myself, and I am free from rigid controls on every aspect of my life. Those things are enough for me to know this is the life I really need. This life is my truth.

If I ever had serious doubts about my decision it wouldn't take much to convince me I have made the right choice. One meeting at a Kingdom Hall, one afternoon in field service, or one monthly broadcast from the JW website would remind me of how painful life used to be. I don’t need to prove to myself the doctrines are wrong. I can just look at the effect that lifestyle had on myself and others.


So, back to the issue at hand. How do I deal with apocalyptic fears in the midst of today’s virus threat? I wake up, live the best version of myself possible, and take care of my responsibilities. At the end of the day, I make a list of all the new reasons I have to be grateful. I can only control the area between my ears, and even that gets unruly sometimes. So, I surrender to the flow of life, regardless of how tumultuous it is, and accept things as they are. I can’t fix what’s going on around me but I can contribute to the solution. That’s all any of us can do. 

Comments

  1. Eduardo FierroMarch 15, 2020 at 4:15 AM

    There is no way anyone or any group or organization would know what was going to happen or when it was happening. I see the current situation as something that was bound to be sooner or later and no one is to blame. People has been always trying to guess or prevent the end of world, and times like this will make you think and rethink your beliefs, however, no one can know or be certain about what the future entails, we know so little about everything but some are so arrogant about knowing what is coming that will take every opportunity to remind you, if you are out of their circle, you will not have the benefits it living in a renewed world after all goes down...
    I think nature (or god if you will) has a plan and the plan will be in effect no matter what we think or what we do, just be a good man and enjoy life, nothing wrong with that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RickMarch 15, 2020 at 8:09 AM

      Yes, I think this is something we will always have in our minds, our subconscious perhaps. I was indoctrinated for 42 years, I'm turning 50 this year and hate the fact that I wasted so much of my life believing the craziness taught by the Watchtower cult. I was born in Cuba, came to the US when I was 9, I clearly remember my family thinking the end was near when many in my family where thrown to prison for not obeying government orders not to teach religion or congregate, that was a communist regime, that's what they do. They all got ready for the end of the world many different years throughout history such as 1914, 1925, 1975, etc. I think that panic is deep down in our DNAs, passed down generation after generation. Thank for sharing your post with us, you're not alone.

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