"Whom Shall We Go Away To?"

I’m not one for getting into Bible discussions anymore but, I have to start this post out with a scripture just for background, not to start any theological debates.

When Jehovah’s Witnesses consider leaving the organization, the following Bible account is usually what comes to their minds:

So Jesus said to the Twelve: “You do not want to go also, do you?” Simon Peter answered him: “Lord, whom shall we go away to? You have sayings of everlasting life." (John 6:67, 68)

I would bet (because now I can) that most ExJWs have had an active JW say something like this to them, “Where will you go? There’s nothing worthwhile in the world. This is where we find the teachings of everlasting life.”

The implication is clear. Why leave the organization? It's the only place you can ever be happy.

It's part of the emotional blackmail that makes it difficult to ever leave.

There was a time when this thought stopped me from fully investigating my own beliefs. I knew intuitively that one of the key JW teachings was wrong. But, I remember thinking that if I pulled on that thread and it turned out to be false I would lose the only belief system I had ever known. I consciously put this issue in the back of my mind because I didn’t know where I would go if I disproved that teaching.

Recently, someone asked me about this conundrum. He was thinking of leaving but couldn’t completely wrap his head around the idea. He asked me where he would go since this was the only way of life he knew. I simply told him, “You can go anywhere you want. That’s the beautiful part. You can finally figure out what you believe for yourself.”

Sadly, he replied, “That sounds terrifying.”

It is hard to break the thinking patterns that were subtly woven into our minds. Dependence on one organization and one truth is an especially difficult and scary pattern to break. In the religion, we were often explicitly told to avoid independent thinking. We were denied an education that would have opened our minds to the world around us. We were told terrifying stories about those that had left the organization and the tragic outcomes of their lives. Taking the step to sever ties with a religion that you have depended on your entire life can be overwhelming.

Part of what I love about my life so much right now is the ability to explore. I have read every religious text I can find just because I can. I enjoy searching for threads of "my truth" in ancient documents. I don’t believe everything they say but there are certain parts that speak directly to me. I find wisdom in the teachings of Buddha, Jesus, Krishna, and many others. I don’t need to subscribe to any belief system in its entirety. I create my own path, “my truth”.

Life is deliciously ambiguous and gives us the opportunity to find a path that will work for us individually. There really is no need to force our life to conform to anyone else’s version of “truth”. So, I will adopt any teaching that makes me a more loving, compassionate, active person, regardless of the source. “My truth” will not be the same as “Your truth”, and that’s OK.

We are incredibly flexible and adaptable beings with the capacity to choose a way of life that works for us alone. I don’t need to convince you that anything I believe is the best way of life. I'm not advocating that everyone should do what I did. But, I do think that we can all find our own way.

So, in answer to the question, “Where will you go if you leave the organization?”

I reply, “Everywhere I want."